Monday, 14 June 2010

Greetings from Bert, or Preferably for Bert!

Hello folks. I've been very busy recently hence the lack of blogs. "Don't listen to him, he's been loafing about doing nothing useful at all." Who said that? It's that poncy brother of mine, I thought he was asleep in the garden. Judging from the huge number of enquiries I've had, you must all have missed me. Your concern is most touching - many thanks to both of you! I don't know why I bother, really I don't.

Anyway, as a couple of weeks have elapsed since my last missive, I'm sure you are all desperate for my pearls of wisdom. Things are about the same round here. Nothing much has changed - prawns still in short supply. I was up bright and early this morning. "How can you say that and keep a straight face?" It's Tabby again. Bear with me a moment while I chase him off................. that's better, I don't think he will trouble us any more. Now, where was I? Oh yes, I like the mornings, especially when the weather is good, it's the best time of day. The rich cacophony of bird song interspersed with the gently rasping cough of the woman next door as she enjoys her first cigarette of the day - the dawn chorus in all it's splendour. The dew on the grass, the sweet fragrance of the flowers and the heady aroma of burnt toast as the one I don't trust gets breakfast ready. A new day has truly dawned.

Right, there are a couple of things I need to tell you about. Since last Friday, the one I don't trust, has taken up permanent residence on the settee, in my favourite spot actually. I was getting fed up with it, so I decided to investigate. Do you know what, he is watching football morning, day and night. It's the World Cup apparently! Now as you know, I am a rather accomplished player myself, I could have been a star - I expect you have already seen the video of me in my prime - if not, click here. Well, if you can't beat them, join them, that is what I say, so I've decided to join him on the settee to watch it as well. I particularly like watching the little ball on the screen, but for some reason he gets a bit agitated when I sit in front of it and try and pat it with my paw. You can look forward to my occasional observations and expert analysis of the proceedings.

On Saturday we watched England play - he got rather excited and was very happy until the goalkeeper did an impression of a blind man fending off an angry bee. You should have heard his language - most appalling. I should be in goal, I am very good at chasing balls. Did you know us cats have a team in it - Cameroon, otherwise known as the Indomitable Lions - I shall support them. We are bound to win.And now for the really important news - roll of drums, fanfare on trumpets..... it's my birthday tomorrow! Yes, I am four years old. "It's my birthday as well." What, who else has a birthday tomorrow? "I do," said Ginger Tail, "so does Tabby." "How does that work then" I said. "Well, we are all from the same litter - we were all born under the bush on the same day," replied Ginger Tail. How unfair I thought - I expect there will be extra prawns to celebrate this auspicious occasion - I don't want to have to share them with those other two. "How old are you then" I asked. "I'm four of course" said Ginger Tail, "and Tabby?" "Well, he's four as well" she said in a rather condesending way. What a remarkable coincidence I thought.

Well, that's my lot for today. I'm off to make sure all the other local cats know it is my birthday - I know they will want to mark the occasion with a small gift - king prawns are always acceptable. I will be celebrating tomorrow, but will be back later in the week. Did you know that birthdays are good for you. Wise Old Black Tom told me the other day, that the more birthdays you have, the longer you live. What a clever cat he is! What a Life! AlbertThe(expectant)Cat.

14 comments:

  1. Well I bet you would B a great footy player , an I wish you a Happy Birfday !!I hope you get loads of prawns !!!

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  2. We wish you all a very happy birthday one day in advance, and definitely hope you get as many prawns as you can possibly eat. :-)

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  3. Happy Birthday to all 3 of you!...We hope all your birthday wishes come true, especially those concerning king prawns!...We hope you all get extra cuddles and treats as well...Hope your week is filled with fun and lots of joy sweet friends...xo...Calle, Halle, Sukki
    PS...Bert, you always make our Mommy laugh, you handsome boy!!

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  4. We wish you all a very Happy Birthday! King Prawns are on the way in celebration of your auspicious day tomorrow! Enjoy!

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  5. Happy birthday Bert, and to Ginger and your poncy brother, too. For your birthday, the one you don't trust should let you chase the ball on the tv. Have a wonderful day!

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  6. We're wishing you all a furry Happy Purrthday tomorrow!!!

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  7. Oh Bert.... Happy Birthday to you tomorrow. Have a great day. Sending you lots of purrs, pal.

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  8. Happy purrday Bert, we iz teh same age. It is a purrfekt age. Enjoy your prawnz.

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  9. I are so happy you are back. That video of the soccer game is just toooo cute for words. What a team you all make. Happy Birthday buddy. Oh yes, I'm 4 going on 5 in October.

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  10. Bert,
    Happy birthday you all three of you; hope your staff will serve up all the prawns you can eat.
    ps you were missed.
    Jake the red tabby

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  11. Happy Birthday Albert!!! Hope it's a Great Day filled with lot's of Extra Prawns!! So glad to see You back!!

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  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  13. Hi Bert: We enjoyed reaing your blog. Please follow @AnipalAwards on Twitter. You may wish to follow our blog at:
    http://anipalacademyawards.blogspot.com/
    You can also search on Facebook for Anipal Academy Awards. Thank you.

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  14. Bert we are so far behind, so we missed getting here to wish you a happy birtday in time, but we do want to wish you (and the others too) a very happy belated birthday! We hope you got lots and lots of tasty prawns!

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